| kinda mind-digging |
[19 Feb 2006|02:25am] |
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mood |
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you know, sometimes i think it's quite nice that nobody knows me well...
if one did, he would get disappointed or even scared by my inner world, my thoughts, ideas, wishes and dreams.
i'm talking about my "shell" again... i cover myself and screen of others with a wall of optimism and common "everything's fine" phrases. maybe i'm afraid of getting people into my small world, maybe i just have lost any hope that somebody understands me.
right now i can say that i feel bad, i'm in some kinda spleen or maybe even depression, i can do nothing and think about anything serious. but very few people see it, and even less people know what's wrong with me. Huh, how one can know what's wrong with me when i can't understand it myself?
anyway, i hope.. no, i KNOW that i'll be okay. soon. very soon. i'm stronger than myself, than my 'stupid loser' half. things WILL go the way I WANT them to. i don't give a fuck about any obstacles and any surprises my fucking mind can give to me.
i've got to switch off my emotions and live on pure sober brains. for a while. that definitely should help.
p.s. i'm estimating the first attempt to get out of this crap for tomorrow today morning. let's see..
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| hello |
[17 Feb 2006|06:55pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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..ORBITAL.. :: The Girl With Sun In Her Head |1996| |
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I've just registered this account and copied the design and userpics from my main journal, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) n1ck3l. I've been going to set up an English-written journal for a long while and finally did that. My only purpose is just not to lose my still remaining English skills. There won't definitely be any posts in Russian here, and i think i will delete any comment which is not in English. Or, maybe, i'll just read anything you reply and reply to that in English...;) will see.
I'm going to express some of my thoughts here and post something about my online and offline life, just like in the main blog.
By the way, I'm noticing that i'm losing interest in posting there little by little, so there's a chance that some time i'll find myselfl paying more attention to this one.
So, i welcome my friends who have similar blogs to add me, and that probably will be mutual.
Then, i need some new friends who are actually English-speaking, in order to communicate with native speakers in some way. Chatting in English with Russians is not a best idea ;]
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